Mar 312015
 

I hear they brought in a new top gun in Nigeria. Everybody’s very pleased, it seems, except the Nigerians, of course, but they don’t count. “Finally, democracy comes to Nigeria”, observers say. As for the Nigerians, I admit they did vote for Buhari, but I expect they did so mainly to please us.

I really can’t understand what’s so great about Buhari. He’s far too old, for one thing. I’m much younger than him, but I’m definitely too old to rule a country. I’m so out of date that I don’t even approve of Facebook. And anyway, why don’t they give a new guy a chance to get rich? Why a previous “military ruler”. After all, democracy is all about giving new people the opportunity to milk their country’s economy.

Speaking of “military ruler”: isn’t that a euphemism for “dictator”? Keeping up with euphemisms is very demanding, and getting more so by the day. You know, learning new concepts takes a greater toll as you grow older, and I am definitely getting older. Very demanding, yes. The Castros are dictators, for instance, so was Chavez and his failed look-alike Maduro, but the obsolete gang in Saudi Arabia are merely rulers, the butcher-general with the cute name in Egypt (after such an epithet, I’d better refrain from stating his name) is probably a “military ruler”.

That horrible person Netanyahu is never referred to as anything but a “friend”. True, for the moment he has been downgraded to “business relation”, but that’ll pass soon enough. Putin, is another matter. He is not a “friend”, but he is so rich that nobody dares refer to him as anything but “ruler”. Now there’s an example of someone who should step down and give a new kid on the block a chance to get rich. The United States are good at that, I must admit: presidents there step down all the time, graciously. The problem in the United States is that presidents aren’t really the ones who rule, are they. Not even Bush was entirely to blame for everything. The ones who rule do get rich, though, very rich, if not  as rich as Putin.

Actually, Goodluck Jonathan apparently also stepped down graciously. That was probably very smart of him. He may well be back in power before long.

Buhari will have real terrorists to cope with. His future as top gun will probably depend on his success in that field. At this point, the writer of this post has reached a semantic roadblock: Do we have a word for “real terrorist” as opposed to the euphemistic “terrorist”? I feel a strong need to express my deep sympathy with the Nigerian people, many of whom are fighting for their lives against “morbid power freaks’ human instruments of torture”. But the word terrorist, as it is normally used, no longer covers this concept. Instead it all too often is a synonym for “political opponent against whom we wish to use non-democratic and violent means of suppression”.

I really do appeal to you, reader, to help me, but unfortunately, as you see, I do not allow comments on this site as I have become a little paranoid about “cyber-terrorism”. I leave you to parse the expression “cyber-terrorism”.